Addict in the house - A No-Nonsense Family Guide Through Addiction and Recovery - by Robin Barnett is a book where you will find sufferance and all that elements characterizing the world of addiction. The author, strong of her personal experience, will tell you how to cope with your beloved addict relative and how to cure him successfully. Published by New Harbinger Publications you can find the book on stores now.
The book opens with some considerations of Robin and his personal story. Later the discovery of who and why someone beloved became an addicted.
As Barnett explains sometimes it's a mental illness, depression, bipolarity a situation of border line, personality able to give the pretest for the use and abuse of drugs and alcohol. Surely, the author remarks there is a biological component, including of course environment, chronic illness and pain.
What to do for someone with an addict at home?
Robin suggests to separate psychologically the addict from the addiction and the substance that changed our beloved person so badly.
For a non-addict it's tremendously difficult to imagine the world and the situation lived by the addict. An addict for buying drug and alcohol can lie, can steal.
The author is clear: a lack of substance in the body of an addict is like lack of food in a body of a normal person. You would start to be nervous, you would search desperately for food. Same is for the addict and the substance able to calm down his nerves. There are various typologies of addicts.
One of them are the functional addicts. People who think that their life, because they continue to work, and they're productive is normal. Keeping up appearances can be, says the author, another signal and symptom of the disease.
An addict will tend to focus on what is being done to them and not by them.
An addict can experience broken relationships, financial problems, legal troubles, consequences of his addiction.
Problem is, affirms the author that there are two people in an addict and inside an addict: they know the damage alcohol or drug cause to them but they can't stop it.
What a relative and a friend of an addict should do?
Fight the addiction not the addict, and this one is a first and important, crucial separation indispensable for winning these horrible substances. Problem is, says Robin that more a person love an addict, more will protect him and his addiction.
Manipulation is something very well known from addicts with people of their family and with friends for keeping cheerful the addiction. There are people who will feed this addiction as well. Maybe people with which this man, the addict one will drink together at the bar. These ones won't want to interrupt the addiction of the man in particular if he offers wine generously to them, not addicted.
All the family members will play also a role in this addiction game.
It will be important for the members of the family to build a better relationship and change the way they communicate with the addict.
Addicts can't control their behaviors.
A dangerous myth says the author is that only the addict can save himself from his addiction.
In part it is true but a big role can be played also by people around him.
Where grows up addiction? Are there best places for nurturing and developing it?
Of course: in an environment populated by shame, secrets and shadows. In the light of sun an addiction wouldn't live a long life.
Relatives of the addict shouldn't tell him of stopping to drink everything.
It's important to play a good and solid psychological role when we are in their company.
It is also important to choose the best words to say at an addict.
An advice from the author: the silence must be broken and later ask for advices. Very good advices, from doctors, psychologists, etc.
Let's remember says the author that an addiction is a progressive disease, mental and physical.
And be careful says the author when an addict ask for help. Being liars they can have a double face.
And then the author treats the detoxification from alcohol, etc.
This one the step more hated by the addict for the sad collateral effects.
Sure the collateral effects of the abstinence are many: palpitations, nausea, insomnia etc.
The detoxification of an alcoholist is always risky because of the so-called seizures, delirium tremens. Benzodiazepines (the Zanax a lot of people use largely) could give at first seizures once interrupted abruptly like also barbiturate.
Opiates in comparisons are less dangerous in the phase of the detox.
Then the author treats the chapter of the structures that can cure your loved one very well.
A good structure where he can remains for a long time followed by excellent people is the best option. The so-called rehab can't do anything in the short time according to the author.
Addiction grow up in places of silence and secrecy creating shame, guilt and often misunderstanding.
Break this chain and set yourself and your dear one free again! from this horrible pain and sufferance.
The author suggests to keep a journal for your peace of mind and for reminding you that when you will start to want to change the situation for your loved one, you can do that.
I suggest this book to everyone with a big cross like the one of an addict in a house for better understanding the modality of approach with the sick person and for trying to save him/her from the abyss in which he/she fell for a reason or another.
I thank Netgalley for this informative book.
Anna Maria Polidori