Coping with old age, the ones of more adult friends, relatives, parents, sometimes unknown people and being there for them: this one the mission of every caregiver. It's all of it and more the new book by Lori Hogan Strength for the Moment Inspiration for Caregivers published by Crown publishing.
Hogan is very famous in the sector. She created Home Instead Senior Care and it helped a lot and lot of elderly people in many corners of the world.
A diversified, pretty colorful world the one of caregivers. They sometimes cope with stress, discomfort, learning in the while important lessons for their own life, because receiving and giving love to their parents, relatives, friends, or people is priceless.
Caregiving is to focus on the beloved parent, relative, giving him/her the best attention he/she deserves and mainly all the possible dignity. This last moment of his/her life mustn't be a nightmare but a joyous moment.
Examples that you will meet in this book are many and the most diversified.
There is a family who tried to fix all the most important problematic of the beloved dad of the narrator, keeping him with them for seven year; other couples spent hard times before to find the proper place for their beloved parents, or decided to keep their parents with them and just when too sick for a proper assistance leaving them in a home.
Other children coped with distance and sufferance...
Each story of this book, fifty-four in total have a common treat: the love creates by sufferance and assistance to an old person and lessons learned about old age, importance of staying connected talking of children for example with that parents who once donated them life. Soul of a caregiver becomes more human, compassionate, there is a different understanding of the world.
Caregiving happens sometimes as we will see.
When parents are unable to be the strongest and solid people we knew; when they become frail, when they need more assistance.
Every story starts with an anecdote, then the heart, the little story of the caregiver and at the end a caregiver's prayer. In the middle of the tale a quote of the most important consideration expressed by the caregiver.
Because let's admit it, without God and His precious invisible help where could a caregiver goes?
I assisted my dad as he assisted me when I was little and I grew up.
He became more frail with the time and because deaf (we bought ears aids but he was terrible because he didn't want to keep them) he also met along his way some dementia.
No: it hasn't been a strong dementia.
He knew who he was, who we were, just sometimes he was fixated with cemeteries, he saw a lot of people digging a lot of graves, and during that agitated times I remember that, for calming him down I brought him to the cemetery.
"Situation is tranquil as you can see, no one is digging new graves, after all it is true that Jesus Christ prepares for us a place in Heaven but without rush...
But...If your ardent desire is to go at a funeral let me check out, I am sure that someone is dead yesterday, everyday die someone and maybe if we are lucky enough we can go at a funeral." While he was thinking, in the while visited the graves of his dad and mom and then I knew what he would have added looking at the empty space close to the one of granny Marietta: "Look: this one will become soon my new house." I told him in that cases: "OK dad let's go and please, stop to say that! Live your life, dad, don't think at this place."
I knew that he was scared to staying there and that's why that when he died I have wanted a serene, peaceful afterlife-house where, everyone stopping by for a visit making dad in Heaven cheerful can smile, staying tranquil, forgetting after all that it is a grave, surrounded by the protection of Saint Mary, many angels, tranquillity, roses, flowers and my dad's saying, pretty human: "Don't start to walk if your mouth doesn't taste of wine." Passions are passions and they should remarked! for keeping people constantly alive also when they're passed away.
I highly suggest to everyone this book in particular if you live a situation of: "Oh my God and now what to do?" with your old parent, because you will understand thanks to this book what to do and you will find the way, understanding how precious and unique this life is. Sharing it with your old parent in need, donating some part of it at the most important people of your existence is the most beautiful gift you can do. To yourself and to themselves.
I thank so much Guideposts for the physical copy of this book.
Anna Maria Polidori
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