Je Ne Vis Que Pour Toi by Emmanuelle De Boysson

 Back to Paris at the beginning of 1900. A Paris populated by excellences in art and literature, but, more, Je Ne Vis
Que Pour Toi by Emmanuelle De Boysson the love story between Valentine and Natalie-Clifford-Barney. 

Valentine was a country-girl who, born in Bretagne, and arrived to Paris, can't resist at the temptation of marrying Antoine, a man in love with her, who could open her the best places in Paris for trying to publish her writings. When Antoine reveal her who are his friends, in particular Marcel Proust, Valentine understands that in front of her there is a man of culture, surely with great contacts in the cultural parisienne environment. Valentine in fact, adored writing and wanted some visibility. 

Antoine loves her and her robust approaches persuades the girl that this one is the best person she can find around; she starts to write him inflammated letters of her supposed love. Her parents tried to arrange for her another marriage, with another boy, but Antoine would have made the difference for Valentine, because it would have meant a best social condition and the introduction in cultural circles in grade to make the difference: the aristocratic society of Paris was a succulent idea for a country-girl. 

Marcel Proust during that years had lost the father and then the mother and, as everyone  know suffered of a strong asthma; he tried to be as social as possible but with all the risks that this sociality would have meant for his lungs when too cold.

During an event, the following days of their marriage, Antoine introduces Valentine to Colette and Colette introduces Valentine to Natalie-Clifford-Barney. 

Natalie was a wealthy lady born in the USA, who abandoned the country soon considering the puritan atmosphere breathed in the USA. Paris was much more liberal also with sexual orientations and no one cared who was the partner of another person, if someone of different or same sex.

Valentine, when firstly saw her, thought that she lookedlike the Femme aur Miroir painted by Titian but firstly to her "émane quelque chose d’inexprimable qui ressemble à un défi" transmitted something inexpressible and similar to a challenge writes the author.

At first the rich American was seen like "très spirituelle" very spiritual. 

Immediately Natalie asks to Valentine if she is there with her husband. Natalie had chosen a different existence, husbands-free, searching for relationships with the same sex.

And in this book we will meet many times the thematic of lesbians and their inability of having children one of the main reasons why their love-stories weren't seen positively, but also their ideas of men in confrontation with them. The thematic of remaining children free another one that you will meet.

 Attracted by the idea of having some chance to see published her writings thanks to her, Valentine accepts to meet that woman again. For a garden party in particular, the first time. Her husband Antoine does not have a great consideration of that woman: she doesn't have a great reputation, better if you don't go, proposes to her wife. But Valentine, in part attracted by that lady, in part because of the necessity of proposing her works to someone (and in these cases errors can be committed) will go.

The court of Nat will continue, and only later, in another moment, in another day, when substantially Valentine was there for writing down something with Nat, there will be the topic moment in which their relationship jump solidly at another more profound and physical level.

This love-story will be lived by the two partners with respective moments of strong jealousy.

Nat will try to understand why her partner Valentine loved Antoine and the kid, and Valentine, searched once to discover where Nat went with at an event; another time will be curious to understand who is the addressee of some written burning words in a piece of paper she found for case when leaving the house of her lover.

There was tension but also gratification in this relationship. A relationship that, anyway brought at the ruin of Valentine. 

Valentine knew at first that Natalie could be a manipulative person: when still not yet in this relationship, the book is written in first person and Valentine is the superb, narrating voice, she would have wanted to refuse her avances.

Antoine maybe is not a perfect husband it is excluded that Valentine would never leave him; but when the husband discoveres this liaison started many years ago, more or less immediately after their marriage, he won't hesitate asking for the divorce and leaving her with a house and not much more.

We are at the beginning of the First World War at the end of the book.

Beautiful portrait of the french society at the beginning of the XX century, I strongly recommend this book to everyone because it is written with great passion and sentiment.

I thank Emmanuelle De Boysson fot the copy of this book.

Anna Maria Polidori