Ootlin
is the memoir by Jenni Fagan
published by Les Editions Metailie.
This one is the shocking tale of a broken ex child.
Jenni started to write it for the posterity because her idea while she was writing it compulsively, was to kill herself. A letter of good-bye would have been too simplicistic and reductive for telling the bad experiences she lived during her childhood.
Her mother was mentally sick, so she was removed from her when less than a toddler, but surely what experienced later in terms of abuses of every sorta, stress, was much much more sad, I am sure. Being sick is not a fault, but living with people that should protect you but they don't, yeah, that! it is scary!
Jenni writes that at the age of 12, families started every sorta of abuse on her. She was also raped. She decided to live in a wood: she tried to kill herself. The main refugee for this girl when a teen-ager of 15 years became drugs. She didn't go anymore to school. She was arrested, but also when desperate, Jenny didn't stop to look at a brightest future.
More than anything else, considering that she passed 14 care houses, maybe that system, the care system one, was not so good and so caring, completely inadeguate to find her a decent family where to spend in serenity her age.
Every kid removed by abusive or sick parents should stay with people in grade to give to them a big sense of security, not more desperation, stress and sadness.
Jenni once given another chance to life decided to close the manuscript somewhere without to touch it since at recent times.
Maybe, telling this story will help her to re-define her own story.
The end of the book is absolutely wonderful because only a person who lived the most profound desperation can writes such powerful words:
"Chosing to live although in fear, in the absence of security .... is so human. It's an act of hope. Each act of kindness, love, goodness counts much more than what the person that did it can never imagine. Let's research the beauty in particular during the most difficult times. Each act of goodness, solidariety, attentiom, courage, sacrifice, is important in particular if there are no applauses or it passes unobserved. There are people plenty of an extraordinary light that they bring it to the world, despite everything they have paased along their live and I prove nig admiration for these people".
At the end of the book there are many pictures of the little Jenni in the various phases of her existences as a child and a teenager.
Anna Maria Polidori